Pray. For us believers it’s what we do in response to bad news, overwhelming stress, an unknown outcome, or for many other reasons. I know I’ve poured my heart out to God many times over the years. However, I didn’t know praying truly “worked” until 2004.

I was preparing to live a new life with my then boyfriend (now husband), in a new state with a new job, and new adventures to be had. But everything it was supposed to look like in my head came to a sudden halt just one month after my 21st birthday. I became very ill and was diagnosed with a type of virus that attacks the immune system which in turn caused various complications to my everyday life. I was living in Connecticut for only 3 months before I had to move back to Maryland.

After several months of battling this relentless sickness I developed an anxiety and panic disorder due to the longevity of the virus and the effect it had on my immune system. The details of that year are an important part of my story and who I am today, but for now I will focus on the moment prayer became a source of life for me.

I spent the majority of the summer couch ridden at my parents house. I was the sickest mentally and physically I had ever been in my life. I felt punished, beaten down and completely lost. I was under attack everyday, my thoughts were consistently negative and anger ruled my heart. I was angry at God, my parents, my boyfriend, my friends, and myself. Everyone else was living their life normally while I was struggling to do everyday tasks.

Fear left me incapacitated. Every day I faced challenges and because of that I wouldn’t leave the comfort of my parents home. My Mom would pray with me or tell me to pray knowing with God’s help I could overcome anything. I was a believer but I didn’t have much faith at that point because I felt if God really cared, He wouldn’t have allowed my life to be turned upside down. Well, I was wrong. God did care; more than I could comprehend. “Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 

It wasn’t until I had reached what most call rock bottom that I found ‘The Rock’ at the bottom. “They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer”. Psalm 78:35  On one especially trying day I remember crying out, “I surrender God… if you’re really up there, HELP”! Shortly there after came my turning point, yet it was more like a starting point to a deeper faith. I prayed everyday from that moment on. I read bible verses and cited them aloud or in my head as to confirm God’s promises.

The bible verse, “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me” literally saved my life. My Mom shared it with me during a very difficult day. I found power in those words because when I spoke them I believed Jesus heard me and would give me the strength I lacked. I was still unsure of myself but the realness of Jesus was ever present.

Of course there were days I didn’t want to pray or believe. Even in the midst of God’s presence I was still dealing with crippling anxiety and fear filled thoughts. Although, I  learned that if I didn’t lose heart God would be faithful and renew my strength.  “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day”. 2 Corinthians 4:16 

Sometimes I would tell God it was too hard, that I couldn’t take it anymore. Then, I would open my bible. “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still”. Exodus 14:14  And I’d find my strength again. God wanted my stillness so I could discover His peace. Prayer is a powerful thing when you couple it with faith. “And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” Matthew 21:22  

Prayer gave me strength for the fight and peace for the moment. I spent years fighting my anxiety, but it is God who will always get the glory for winning the battle.  The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord. Proverbs 21:31  Prayer changed my life. I uncovered the truth that praying does in fact “work”. It is for all times, for all people and it works for all who believe.