Write your stories. Tell the world about who I am.
These words have been tugging at my heart strings lately so here we go, back to the beginning.
When I was 12 I had my heart broken. It was late afternoon in April, my classmates and I were gearing up for a long Easter break. Our middle school was within walking distance to church and it was tradition in our Catholic school to walk through the stations of the cross. As we entered the church we were given strict instruction to be respectful and quiet. Then once everyone got out their giggles and were quieted, we walked along the walls of the church. Stopping at each image, we gazed at the depiction of Jesus on his journey to the cross while the priest lead us in prayer and reflection. I can’t remember which image we were stopped at but during the quietness of reflection I felt an immense sadness come over me. I walked through these stations the year prior but today my heart broke because for the first time I felt the pain and heaviness placed on Jesus’s shoulders.
Emotion welled up inside me and I shed a tear but held back more in fear someone would notice I was about to come undone. The holy spirit was moving a little girl to tears over the injustice of it all. I felt sorrow as I imagined what it must’ve been like to be Jesus’s friend or family witnessing such a sight. I didn’t understand why he had to die and I didn’t understand it was all for love. “Greater love, has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13).
We’re all searching for something. Sometimes we don’t even know what it is until we’re standing single file in front of a Jesus who died to save us. I felt real heart break for a real Jesus all those years ago. I didn’t know how much His love was going to impact my life. I didn’t know how his sacrifice was truly going to save me when I was very much in need of a savior. I didn’t know Jesus back then the way I know him today but my broken heart told me he was someone worth loving.
Jesus spent years seeking after my heart and today we’re good friends because of his relentless pursuit. I’m so thankful His story doesn’t end in death and (spoiler alert) he wins in the end. I’m still learning everything there is to love about Jesus and I still get emotional over his sacrifice for me but I know without it my life would be meaningless.
As I dive deeper into getting to know the character of Jesus I find myself wanting more of him in my life. His words bring me peace beyond understanding (Philippians 4:7). He takes away my worries with his truth (Matthew 6:25-34). He calms the storms in my life by reminding me he is with me (Matthew 8:26-27). His wisdom is my guide when I lose my focus (Matthew 6:19-21). Every battle and every stronghold in my life can be won because Jesus is who he says he is (John 8:12).
His sacrifice is my salvation, his truth is my freedom, and the good news is he has enough to go around. We will always fall in this life but his grace will be there to catch us every time.
Thank you Lord for your truth because it sets me free from the pressures of this world. Thank you for your perfect love that covers me everyday. Thank you for teaching me who you are and how to live this life to its fullest. Amen